February 9, 2024

Breakthrough Times

What was the turning point of this breakthrough time, what happened?

I turned off a particular editor, out of soul frustration I think, in order for a “combiner” spirit to come in to the process and be with more of me and my memories. Spirit had more access to the collection of glimmers inside me. The glimmers or realizations had been building over time because I’ve been clear minded through discipline and focused effort. Time fell away as I was chipping, shedding, stripping off lies, breaking apart chunks that were in the way. I was building back, knocking down, re-building.

The glimmers or revelations that had been slowly accumulating over time began to have momentum, and with new insight those glimmers started to illuminate the sculpting. I became aware that the way I applied clay to the surfaces as I mended the wrangling I inflicted on them, was something like lichen forming on tree branches and trunks. As the hidden interior life of my work started to come to the surface, I could see what was happening on the outside was happening on my sculpture’s insides too. Maybe the parts of a hidden world were those of the subconscious and things that had been previously in the way were starting to erode and fall off. As I recognized I was sculpting with a mysterious co-agent, things started to connect with teaching yoga also. I had a lot of performance anxiety at the beginning of my teaching career so it took a lot of bravery to keep going back. I was feeling incredible disappointment in myself as I was trying to learn to teach to the point of feeling vertigo or out of body. Over time, by letting go and just showing up and putting the effort in, I started to see what I was teaching was also relating with mysterious forces while staying connected with my own agency. The vertigo stopped, I became more present and in my body during teaching. Likewise with the sculpting, after three years of attempting to make the sculpture in different ways, from different angles, I could feel it's really not something I do alone physically, and the contact with the mysterious co agent (MCA) was more palpable when I acknowledged the freedom of my choices with the clay, based on the truth of myself. I invite the relationship with creativity, with MCA, to grow through practicing embodiment work, daily. I invite sprit in movement practices, and maybe by teaching movement. I have more faith this week, in the inter-relatedness of the embodiment and the sculpting work as spiritual tools TBC.

Fugitive Garden Statuary and the Yoga Teacher